Kibe (open letter to Jesus)

Dear lovely beautiful amazing sweet Jesus,

This is your servant, Sarah speaking. I want you to know, as I’m very sure you already do, that I LOVE YOU and I really care about you a lot. You know what I mean. And I know you love me, too. Thank you so much for everything you’ve done for me and are still doing today. I love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.
I don’t really know how to say these words I want to say them carefully. I sometimes feel alone and like you don’t give a shit about me. I don’t want to mince my words. You understand. I really hope/know it isn’t so. Even if Marvel portrays you that way 4Head. (That comic where you were looking
angry and said “What do you want?” with Yah and the H.S. really scared/scarred me)
I was brought up thinking you would never do anything bad, mean, harsh, or evil. I still believe that/know it, despite a lot of pop culture in media and stuff.
Looking and praying for closure.
Thank you so much again. For listening, truly listening, not judging me, and everything else. I know you know I would and do do the same for you. The golden rule. :3 Can’t wait for you to bestow upon me my beautiful crown. :3
Thanks for reaching out to me and following me. No matter what, in a good way, unconditionally. And all your support, protection, love, health, blessing, help, etc.
I don’t want to hold back. Like, I’ve been through and am still going through a lot of tough shit. Hell.
It really feels like Hell to me. I sometimes wonder if Hell is actually better than here. I know you and God and all the other beings of light on my side will help get me through this agony, torture, and torment.
When it’s raining, look for rainbows. When it’s dark, look for stars.
It’s never as bad as it seems. But my feelings are valid. I need more help than what I feel you have been giving me. It feels like you’re really holding back. Please don’t. Obviously I will obey God and His will
unconditionally (even tho im imperfect and make mistakes or whatever). You know what I mean. With every fiber of my being I believe in you. And love you.
Sometimes it feels weird cause of all the time I’ve pushed you away or eschewed you. I feel like I’ve blasphemed quite a bit. Ppl say its the only “unforgivable” sin but I believe and know that nothing is unforgivable. I just know.
You are EVER-merciful. And love (ALWAYS) conquers all.
Even my doubt. Thank you again for everything. Thanks again for seeking me out.
I feel so lost. But I know in my heart you are watching over and protecting me, and guiding me through and out of this storm (abuse + separation).
Thank you!
Love,
Sarah

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