Sucks being a buddha.

I’m going to stop trying to uphold my ‘buddha’ness. Sometimes I panic and feel like I’m not living up to the expectation of one who has attained enlightenment. But we’re just like everyone else. I feel like enlightenment is overrated. I know that may seem easy for me to say, having achieved it already, but honestly I feel there are more important things to life, such as love and happiness!
I’m sick of trying to be perfect in an attempt to save face or live up to my preconcieved expectations.
Buddhas are imperfect, “human”, and feel pain, fear, and sorrow too. They feel insecure and awkward.
They make mistakes, they get angry, they even lash out! Gasp!!!
I heard of at least one occasion of a buddha committing suicide after reaching enlightenment. The truth is really overwhelming, and although the knowledge that everything is love is amazing, it is also scary especially when still living/existing in a 3D world where bad things still happen. It can be a shock to the senses, to say the least.
I’m going to, from here on out, embrace my imperfections and dark/unhappy thoughts, not worry about being so problem free and robotic. I’m going to let myself feel emotions, both good and bad and inbetween. I’m going to make ALL of the mistakes.
:3 “Take the risk. If it works out, happiness. If not, wisdom.”
I need to feel more grounded, real, and down to earth…

“The Truth doesnt always set You Free. Sometimes it saddles You with a burden You can never escape. So choose very carefully where You decide to start digging and what Dragons You choose to Slay. Prepare to Be taken places You never wanted to go.
Gnosis isnt always a Flower – sometimes its a Sword. Maybe more often than not.”

~ Christopher Knowles

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